Big Scary Decisions

 So 2018 has been a pretty eventful year for me and my little family.

It started with us seeing the new year in at Fraser island which was incredible. Such a beautiful island with crystal clear lakes, dingos, snakes and far to many goannas!

Then we made the biggest decision ever and decided we were going to pack up our lives in Australia (where we had just spent the last four years) to move back to the UK.

Before I had Eva I was pretty certain my life in Australia was perfect and that I was settled for good, but having a baby opens your eyes up to what is important and to me and Ryan that is Family.

Both our families are in the UK (or a short flight to the south of France) and after about three months I really started to struggle with the fact that Eva wouldn't know her English family. I also started to feel very lonely. Yes I have a beautiful baby girl but I didn't have the support of my mum or many other friends who had babies that I could socialise with.

So me and Ryan talked about it and ummmed and ermmmed about what to do and we finally made the decision to go 'home'

The next hardest thing we had to do was to tell our Australian 'family' who we spent the majority of our time with since we moved to Australia. This was extra tough because Eva was also a big part of their lives. But I honestly believe we struck a friendship with them that will last for a lifetime even if we are opposite sides of the world.

So then March 12th came and we said our goodbyes and departed Brisbane and headed to London.

The first thing I remember (or should I say I forgot about) was the cold haha! It took us a while to get over the jet lag and get ourselves into a routine, but I have a job that I love, Ryan has one with great benefits and Eva is settled into nursery.

The best thing is the Eva knows who her Nanny's and Granddad's are and all other members of our family. She is settled and happy and no longer a baby, she just turned 19 months and is a little girl now who copies everything you say and is always smiling.

We miss our Australian family everyday and of course the lifestyle we had there. But for me seeing the people myself and Ryan grew up being apart of our baby girls life is so precious that I know we made the right decision. 

Family Time

When I was pregnant one of things people used to say to me was 'your life is over now you have a child on the way' To which I would respond 'No I'm just starting a brand new chapter'

This brand new chapter is my favourite yet! Yes we have had to change the way we do things (can't go wakeboarding with a new born, your body would never forgive you lol) But it hasn't stopped us completely.

A few weeks ago me and Ryan thought we would brave it and take Eva on her first camping trip. We are heading to Fraser Island for new year so this was a trail run. We thought we would go with a little bit of luxury and hire a camper trailer. It was so much fun! Eva embraced the whole thing and it was pretty much stress free. Apart from get bogged in the sand because the trailer weighed so much! 

So we thought ok let's go back to basics and get a tent. I was dubious, putting up a tent with a 6 month old was going to be hard work! Then tada came the Coleman 8 man pop up tent, which I kid you not takes 2 minutes to set up! And Ryan can do it all by himself! 

 So last weekend we ventured up to Inskip, what a beautiful spot! I got to take Eva for walks on the beach while Ryan set up our tent. Eva got to play in the sand, which she loves and I got to watch the sunset (one of my favourite things) 

The weekend was so nice and relaxing. When Eva fell asleep in the evening me and Ryan got me and Ryan time again. It felt like we were talking to each other for the first time since Eva had been born. Little things you take for granted. 

I never thought I would take a baby out to stradbroke island on our boat, but we did it and she loved it! It made me realize how much my priorities have changed! I used to love drinking and dancing and dealing with the hangover the next day. Where as now I love family time. Going out and exploring with Eva, showing her new things and getting to do it with Ryan. 

Having a baby doesn't completely restrict how you live your life it just makes the little things more exciting and the bigger things more of a challenge, and who doesn't love a challenge.

Sent from my iPhone

This Crazy New Love

So...they say you never know love until you have your own children. Holy shit balls they are right! Wow, I don't know what to do with these new emotions I have! Every time I look at my little bubba girl Eva my heart just fills with so much love and pride! Then she learns something new and I think I can't possibly love her anymore but yep there is still room for more love!

The day I brought her a jolly jumper I thought my heart was going to burst out of my chest! Watching the power in her little legs and the excitement on her face is something I will never ever forget!  But then there's the first time she aced tummy time, or rolled over, or sat unassisted, or smiled and giggled. Then just yesterday she crawled for the first time! How babies little brains teach them to use muscles all by themselves is so clever!

I also notice that when Eva is around other babies she picks up what they are doing and tries to learn herself! She is such a smarty pants :)

Becoming a mummy has been the most amazing thing I could ever wish for! Yes it's hard in the beginning, the feeling rough and the aches and pains of pregnancy. Then there is the birth which hurts like hell! But once you get that little person that you, YOU and the person you love created in your hands, you forget the pain and how much your body has been through you just stare at this incredible human being that is looking at you with so much love!

Our bodies are amazing! How we manage grow organs and bones and beautiful babies in just 9 months! And how our belly deals with getting far to big and your back has to handle so much stress, but yet you can do it!

Than there is the wonderful bond and power of breastfeeding! Yes it hurts in the beginning (I'm not sure my nipples with ever forgive me lol) but once you get a routine, those moments are so special! And clever (again) If Eva is sick her saliva on my nipples sends signals to my brain to tell my milk she needs this nutrition or that vitamin to make her better! Amazing!

So all you first time mummies to be who are freaking out about the birth or being mummies, once that baby is here none of it matters, because all you will survive off is this crazy new love!

My Birth Story :)

12.30am I wake up for my normal 3rd trimester wee. When I suddenly realise the pillow between my legs is wet, hang on did I just wee myself or have my waters just broken? I rush to the toilet but I'm still not sure so I'm straight on the phone to my mum, she tells me to put on a sanitary towel so it can catch your waters so you can see the colour of it. I stand to get a towel and woosh out comes liquid, yep my waters have definitely broken! Do I wake my partner or do I just deal with this by myself for the moment? I opted for the latter.

 I did some colouring in and messaged my mum non stop (she lives in the UK, I live in Australia) After about 2 hours I hadn't really had any contractions so I decided to download finding Dory and chill in bed watching it. So I woke my partner at 3am. 'Babe my waters have broken' he sits up 'WHAT!!! OMG!!' Laughing, I tell him to calm down, I'm not getting contractions yet. So I watch finding Dory and crash out for a couple of hours.

 By 9.30am I'm getting mild contractions so my midwife tells me to go to hospital to get checked out as it's been a while since my waters broke and I could have a risk of infection. So we load into the car (my partner and friend) and head to the hospital. All minor contractions have stopped now and I get checked down below and all is good. We get shown a video of being induced and asked if they want to book us in for tomorrow morning. We say no as we want to try and have her naturally. So off back home we head, I'm hungry and I'm craving a McDonalds milkshake so we grab a meal on the way home.

 I sit outside to eat my McDonald's (after downing the milkshake) and BAM a really painful contraction hits and I'm suddenly not hungry anymore. The next one hits about 15 mins later and we are like ok something might be happening here let's put the Sausage Factory on (strangest film ever) but I'm getting more and more painful contractions so I jump up in the shower! Ouch this is really starting to hurt. I call my midwife she tells me once they come every 5-7 mins than I ring her again.

 They are  coming every 10 minutes now. I go back downstairs and tell my partner and my friend I think we need to go back to the hospital, they both look and me and go nah your alright, to which I throw my milkshake back up in the kitchen sink. Back up in the shower I go, my midwife has said see if you can last half hour longer so she can get everything ready at the hospital ( I wanted a water bath) I'm in the shower partner holding my hands, friend massaging my back because damn these contractions really hurt! Next thing I need the toilet so I go sit on it and the urge to push comes on very strongly and I panic! There's blood and I'm scared! We ring my midwife and she says if I need to push the baby is coming and we need to call a ambulance!

 The ambulance is called and 10 minutes later it's here. At this point I'm screaming for drugs (I always said I didn't want a epidural) the poor ambulance man he was so apologetic that he couldn't give me anything! The journey to the hospital felt like ages when it was only 20 mins. I yelled pretty much the whole way and finally we got to the hospital. The paramedics made me promise not to have her in the lift which of course I ablidged to haha.

 I get into the birthing sweet my midwife takes one look at me down there and says ok on the bed this baby is coming, No time for gas and air she is already on her way! And 20 minutes later of lots of pushing and yelling (always thought I was going to be quiet ha) and my beautiful healthy baby girl is born :)